The phrase "Christian BDSM" should not be taken to
mean that the sexual activities of B&D or SM is "Christian" in
the sense that Scripture teaches that all Christians should or must
engage in these activities during sex. The phrase is meant to make
the statement that as Christians we find nothing in the Scriptures
that teaches against a married couple engaging in consensual B&D
or SM.
Of all the issues related to BDSM, the sexual activities of
B&D and S&M are the most difficult for Christians to reconcile
with
their faith. I believe the reason for this is simply that we fall into
the
trap of accepting the terminology and labels of mankind. What human
scholars, theologians and psychologist call perverse, abnormal,
unnatural, or immoral do not necessarily fit into the Biblical
definition of perverse, abnormal, unnatural or immoral. As Christians,
we are to live unto the righteousness of God and not become enslaved to
the
teachings of men. Within the realm of sexuality, to become enslaved to
mankind's perception of right and wrong behaviors will rob us of the
joy and beauty of one of our most precious gifts from God. As
Christians who live in accordance to the will (desire) of God, we are
to determine what is perverse, abnormal, unnatural or immoral by
searching the Scriptures to see whether these things are so.
Sexual Immorality
Sexual: of, relating to, or associated with
the sexes or the sexes / Having or involving sex Sex: to increase
the sexual appeal of / to arouse the sexual desires of Immorality:
behavior contrary to established moral principles. Moral: of or
relating to principals of right and wrong in behavior Within
the Scripture we find that pre-marital and extramarital sex,
bestiality, incest, homosexuality, prostitution and incest violate
Scripture teaching of right and wrong and are therefore sexually
immoral behaviors for the Christian to engage in. We find
no teaching that declares the sexual activities of B&D
or S&M as immoral and perverse.|
Unnatural or Abnormal Sexual Behavior
Unnatural: not being in accordance with nature or consistent with a
normal course of events / not being in accordance with normal human
feelings or behavior.
Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile
affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that
which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural
use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another.
Natural: pure, free of pollution (undefiled)
Nature: as originally created
This verse refers to the original intended purpose of human
sexuality within Gods creation before creation was defiled by sin.
Natural, undefiled sexual behavior as created by God, according to His
will and pleasure, is that of male/female sexuality. Specific, natural
sexual behaviors within the male/female sexual relationship are not
defined in Scripture and cannot be defined by secular mankind
regardless of his depth of knowledge and understanding. All judgments
of mankind are inadequate on the basis of personal prejudice, the
inability to establish and determine what is *normal* (normality is
influenced by one's culture, upbringing and historical time period in
which one lives - no universal standard or what is normal has ever been
or can be established by mankind) and mankind's sin nature. Therefore,
the sexually related activities of B&D as well as S&M are not
defined in Scripture as
being unnatural and cannot be determined by mankind to be natural,
normal
or abnormal.
Perverse:
Turn away from what is right or good (see morality discussion above)
Sexual Perversion: Sexual behavior that is morally
wrong, abnormal or unnatural (see above discussion on sexual immorality
and natural sexual behaviors)
Scripture Verses addressing marital Sexuality
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed
undefiled; fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
In this passage we note two things: (1) the marriage bed is undefiled,
that is, the sexual activities between a husband and wife (be they bdsm
or "vanilla") are "undefiled" (not sin) and (2) the sexual activities
that are committed by heterosexuals that are considered sin are
mentioned here - adultery and fornication. Notice that in this portion
of scripture that addresses marriage and sexual sins, the activities of
bdsm are not mentioned. Also, within this portion of Scripture that
addresses sexuality within the bonds of marriage, there are no
regulations as to what a couple may or may not do.
1 Corinthians 7:3 - 4 Let the husband render unto the wife
due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife
hath not power (control) of her own body, but the husband: and likewise
also the husband hath not power (control) of his own body, but the
wife.
In this passage we note: (1) both the husband and wife are entitled to
sex (2) the sexual relationship is to be mutually satisfying. From this
scripture we receive a command (doctrinal teaching) that regulates the
sexual relationship between the husband and wife. The principle is this
- the wife is
to submit her body to the control of the husband for the purposes of
his
sexual pleasure and the husband is to submit
his body to the control of the wife for the purposes of her sexual
pleasure.
Limitations and Balance
There are limitations and balance in all things. The same is true for
the statement made above. The statements "for his sexual pleasure" and
"for her sexual pleasure" is not a license for a free for all sex party
in which the husband and wife may do what ever they wish to one another
without regard for the feelings of the other. The indication of this
verse is that a husband and wife should be open minded enough to submit
to the sexual desires of one another. Neither
the husband or wife should ask one another to do something that is
condemned in Scripture as sexual immorality. Additionally, it should
not be expected for either the husband or the wife to participate in
sexual activities that they find degrading or unpleasurable.
Nonetheless, the indication of this verse is that a husband and wife
should be open minded enough to
submit to the sexual desires of one another. To do so is display of
sensitivity
and unselfish love. Should differences occur, they should be lovingly
discussed with both the husband and the wife committed to understanding
the needs of the other and prayerfully seeking resolution that will
satisfy the
needs and desires of the other.
Conclusion:
We have not found within Scriptures any condemnation of sexual
behaviors or acts of B&D or S&M when practiced by a man and
woman within marriage for the purposes of sexual arousal or
gratification. Nor do we find these behaviors defined in Scripture as
unnatural, abnormal or perverse. The sexual relationship of the husband
and wife should be a joyous and pleasurable one that results in
physical, spiritual and emotional feelings of love, closeness and
intimacy between the couple. If these fruits are produced, then the
relationship
will be a strong and healthy one characterized by joy and love. Such a
relationship, in a day and age when divorce abounds, will bring honor
and glory to God.
SM (Sexual Magic)
How it works
The sexual arousal of erotic SM is the result of neurotransmitters
known as endorphins. Endorphins are natural pain killers with some of
the same properties as morphine. High levels of these natural chemicals
cause an euphoric sensation, sexual arousal, and allow the recipient of
the pain stimulus (submissive) to float into subspace.
Pain stimulus without pain
Endorphins are released as a physical response to
pain stimulus. In SM the pain stimulus is administered gently and
slowly. It may begin with a gentle rubbing, perhaps with a feather,
hand, or the leather strips of a flogger on the submissives skin. That
may be followed with a light tapping of a crop, belt or flogger. No
matter what instument is used, the intensity of the stimulus does not
exceed a point th which it becomes unpleasurable to the submissive.
As the endorphin level increases - so does the submissives threshold
for stimulus intensity and sexual arousal. And thus, that which would
normally be painful (ie. a spanking, or a flogging) is intensly
pleasurable and erotic.
A note:
The Dom must be able to read his submissives reactions to the stimulus
very good and know her limits. Otherwise he may
inflict real pain in his submissive, which might cause a lack of
trust.
