The Husband /Wife
relationship
The Husband /Wife relationship: A Biblical Perspective
The point of focus for this topic is to examine general Ds lifestyle
beliefs and practices for the purposes of determining whether or not
they can be validate by the Scriptures or if they are condemned by
Biblical teachings. If validated or not condemned, then we can then
reconcile the practice as a part of the Christian D/s lifestyle.
OVERVIEW
Some D/s lifestyler’s define the relationship between Dom and sub a
master/slave relationship. To define husband/wife relationship in a
Christian
marriage as one of master/slave is a misinterpretation of the
Scriptures.
While similarities exist, Scripture clearly distinguishes between the
two
relationships. Scripture references that provide teaching on the
husbands
leadership and the wife’s submission do not validate a master/slave
relationship
between husband and wife. For this reasons, a D/s relationship that
takes
a perspective of a master/slave relationship in defining the
relationship
between the husband and wife cannot be reconciled as being Biblical
D/s.
Reasons for this are as follows:
- In marriage, the husband and wife become one flesh. This
*one flesh* relationship identifies a man's wife as being his life
partner and constant companion. As such, she shares and experiences all
aspects of life with
her husband. She is bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. The
relationship
is one of deep intimacy and mutual dependency. This cannot be said of
the
master/slave relationship.
- In a master/slave relationship, a master is free to
sell, trade or free the slave. Further, the slave had the option of
being freed in the seventh year of service (or was freed after his debt
was paid). It may or may not be a permanent relationship. This is not
true for marriage relationship. Scripture clearly states that the wife
is bound to her husband for as long as he lives and that he (husband)
is not to rid himself (divorce) of her. This is not true for marriage
relationship. Scripture clearly states that the wife is bound to her
husband for as long as he lives and that he (husband) is not to rid
himself (divorce) of her. The husband and wife relationship, from the
very beginning, was meant to be life long. To be
separated one from the other would be to loose a part of ones self.
- Although the OT law did allow a man to take female
slaves and lawfully engage in a sexual relationship, to do so changed
her status from a slave to a concubine and she was then considered a
secondary wife and was given legal rights and protection under the law
that were not held by slaves. Even this position is not supported by
Scripture as being the status
of a first wife as concubines could be released or obtain their
freedom.
- Inc???? Paul exhorts believers who are servants
(translated from the Greek douloo meaning slave) to secure their
freedom. Never in Scripture do we see a passage that encourages a wife
to seek freedom from her husband. To do so would be sin.
- In 1 Corinthians 7:23 Paul admonishes believers NOT to
be servants (slaves) of men. While Paul states in Scripture his belief
that it is better for men not to marry, he does not forbid marriage and
exhorts that marriage not be forbidden.
- The destinations between, and separate references to,
a *wife* and a *slave* make it clear that the two are not synonymous.
Master/sub
Another perspective of the Dom/sub relationship is that of
master/submissive or lord/submissive. This perspective is supported by
Scripture and is, therefore, acceptable practice within the Christian
D/s lifestyle.
As with many words in the English vocabulary, the words
master and lord have several definitions. Definitions that pertain to
Bible D/s include:
Master/Lord: (noun definitions)
1) One having authority over another
2) The male head of household
3) Husband
Scripture Reference validating the husband as master/lord:
1 Peter 3:1 and 6
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any
obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the
conversation of the wives;
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters ye are,
as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement
The Amplified version provides clarification of this verse
In like manner you married women, be submissive to your own husbands -
subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and
adapt yourselves to them. So that even if any do not obey the Word of
God they may be won over not by discussion but by the {godly} lives of
their
wives.
It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham (following his guidance and
acknowledging his headship over her by) calling him lord - master,
leader, authority.
And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing
terrify
you - not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve
you.
Lord: taken from the Greek kurios meaning supreme in
authority, ie controller by implication* Mr. (as a respectful title): -
God, Lord, master, Sir
(*by implication: something used (in this case the title
lord) to show (define, establish) the relationship of
Genesis 18: 12
Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old
shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
Lord: from the Hebrew adorn from an unused root (meaning to
rule); sovereign, i.e. controller (human or divine) : - lord, master,
owner (owner: {applicable definition }to have power over: control {not
used here to mean as in ownership of property i.e. slave}) submissive:
An individual who submits to the authority and control (leadership,
guidance, rule) of another. The condition of being submissive, humble,
or compliant. 1 Peter 3:1 and 6 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to
your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may
without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they
behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let
it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of
gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the
heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek
and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Even as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters ye are, as long
as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement The Christian wife
who takes on the role and nature of a submissive woman is clearly, by
Biblical command, fulfilling Scriptural imperatives that define God's
will and desire for her role in the marital relationship and her
behavior towards her husband. (*Note: This is not to say that the
Christian wife is in a position of "silent submission" or is to obey
her husband without the having the opportunity to express her thoughts
and feelings in any given situation or issue. Further, it is not to
imply that everything in the relationship "goes" the husbands way. To
take this view of submission violates the rights given to the wife by
God and God's command for the husband to love his wife. Both of these
subjects will be the topic of later postings.) TITLES OF ADDRESS:
Master, Lord, and Sir It is common practice for a submissive to address
her husband (Dom) as master or lord. We see no conflict with Scripture
for a wife to do so. In fact, we find it a practiced to be encouraged
within the Scriptures. Consider the following: Even as Sarah obeyed
Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do
well, and are not afraid with any amazement Sarah was chosen to be the
mother of Isaac, the father of the nation
of Israel, God’s chosen people. Though imperfect as all Christians are,
she
is described as being a woman of godly character. We are instructed to
follow
her example. She worshipped God. Yet she found no conflict in calling
her
husband lord. Nor do we find that she is condemned for doing. Rather we
find
that she finds favor with God for doing so.
