Domestic
Violence Victims
By definition,
domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that one intimate partner
or spouse exerts over another as a means of control. The two
persons do not actually need to live together for it to be considered
domestic violence. In a non-BDSM relationship abuse might be defined as
non-consensual dominance and control. Remember that abuse doesn’t have
to be physical. Abuse can be threats of any sort that are used to
manipulate, isolation, stalking and many other ways.
Domestic
violence knows no socio-economic, cultural, geographical, class, color,
sexual orientation, or religious borders. It has been a
dark
secret
in many homes for sometimes generations. It has even been used as
comedy
material in TV shows such as the “Honeymooners” . Having
seen the TV show when I was a child, I thought it was funny. (Showing
my age here.) Later on, while watching a rerun of the show my teenage
son asked me to change the channel. Seeing Ralph Kramden yell at his
wife that way and threaten to hit her made him uncomfortable. Yes, his
comment surprised me, but had I not started seeing the show as a
child I might have reacted in the same manner.
Anyone can
be a victim of domestic violence. Women and children are
the
usual targets, making up 95% of the victims, but there are about 5%
that are men. Even unborn babies are affected. (Article on this later.)
Domestic Violence is never a one-time event. There may be profuse
apologies
and many promises but 99.9% of the abusers who do not attend extended
anger management/abuse prevention counseling do it again. Even among
those that complete an anger management/abuse prevention program of at
least 5 months duration, studies show that GREATER than 90% abuse
again. These are not very good odds. I have yet to find any statistics
to show
that if Biblical counseling is included the success rate is higher. As
with any type of counseling, the person truly must desire change.
Abuse is NEVER
OK!
If anyone tells
you that-they are lying! Abuse is not your fault. Nothing you have
done or ever could do is bad enough to deserve abuse from anyone. You
have a right to feel safe. You should not feel ashamed to seek help if
you are abused.
Romans 8:16
Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and coheirs with
Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we
may also share in his glory
If
you'd
like
to write to gentle^spirit, click here .
©
2002-2004-gentle^spirit-All Rights Reserved except BDSM symbol ©
1995 by
Quagmyr@aol.com
If
you feel you are in an abusive relationship, get help now!
You can take the first step by calling the National Domestic
Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TDD 1-800-787-3224) or go
to http://www.ndvh.org .
|
