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How Can I
Protect My Daughter? (And Son!)
The teenage years are difficult at best to
get though. Make every effort to keep the communication lines
open with your children. Talk about dating violence and date
rape. Let her know that you are there for her no matter
what. And mean it! Girls are often terrified to tell their
parents about date rape or violence. The abuser can manipulate
this fear and set your child against you.
Hopefully you have already talked to your teen about drugs and
alcohol. And hopefully you have made a pact with them to call you
if they are under the influence and too impaired to drive. Some
girls are raped/abused because they have been drinking and/or have
taken drugs and are afraid to call home for help. Afraid of
getting caught and punished. Teens need to know that even though
you do not approve of alcohol and/or drug usage that you realize they
can make errors in judgment and you will be there for them.
Your teen may have also just been in the
wrong place at the wrong time and peer pressure being as strong as it
is makes them hesitant to call you because they don’t want to get
others in trouble. Letting your child know that they can count on
you for responding to go get them with out making any scene is
important. Trust goes both ways.
Your child’s safety is paramount. Lectures are best reserved when
both you and your child’s heads are level and clear.
Children learn what they live. Set a good example with sensible
alcohol consumption and staying drug free.
The teen years are often troubled ones in even the best homes.
Teens can get depressed and withdrawn over things other than
abuse. This is why communicating with your child is
important. If you DO suspect she may being mistreated, don’t take
the offensive pointing out what you think is wrong with the
relationship. Taking such a stand can put up a wall and drive her
to defend him.
DO talk to
your teen about what love is and isn’t. Love is not a
feeling. It is an action. 1 Corinthians in the Bible
beautifully explains what loving behaviors are.
1 Corinthians
13:4-5
4Love is patient,
love is kind. It is not jealous, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude, it is not self-centered, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs.
Not mentioning the boyfriend, talk about certain negative behaviors and
ask her if they are loving. Gently encourage her to talk.
Remember that she may have been threatened with harm to herself or
others she holds dear if she tells anyone. If you have reason to
believe that such a threat is genuine, the police need to be notified
and legal intervention taken. Laws vary with municipality as does
the enforcement of such orders.
Note: If you feel your child is being abused, seek
professional counseling. Nothing on this site should be considered
a substitute for counseling.
If you feel your
child is in an abusive relationship, get help now!
You can take the
first step by calling the National Domestic Violence
Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (TDD 1-800-787-3224) or go to http://www.ndvh.org.
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2002-2004-gentle^spirit-All Rights Reserved except BDSM symbol ©
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