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On
Being a Single Christian Submissive
By teddybelle
Howdy! For those of you who don’t hang around the chat room, I’m
teddybelle. I’m a 26 year old subbie and I’m single.
If you’re looking for advice on how to deal with the combination of
being a single Christian and a sub to boot-as if things weren’t weird
enough in dating anymore-you’ve found it. Occasionally you
will find something for a Christian subbie about how to relate to her
husband or her children or whatever. But if you’re reading this
then that probably doesn’t click with you. Fear not. You
are not alone.
I discovered the world of D/s through the World Wide Web. And as
much as it seemed to click everything I found was just DRENCHED in
sex. So here I was, 21 years old and discovering this HUGE part
of myself that made a lot of things make sense, and yet everything I
found just seemed like porn of some sort or another. I was
blessed enough to find a yahoo group that understood I was still new to
the whole thing and how important my faith was to me. Yet it was
still centered entirely on sex. I was becoming convinced that I
was going to have to abandon this wonderful part of me that I
found. I was heartbroken.
It was then that I discovered this site’s predecessor. I was amazed
that my submission could actually be scriptural. It was through
that that I met some wonderful people (and got hooked on IRC.) I
found a few other email groups and things devoted to Christians in the
lifestyle as well. These groups were what helped me forge
my own way through being single and diving into the lifestyle. So
I’ve decided to sum up my four years of single subness into a few
pointers to help out another newbie somewhere along the line.
- Find a group of strong supportive
Christians in the lifestyle. It doesn’t have to be our little
corner of the web. It can be an email group, a message board, a
prayer circle, if you’re lucky enough to be part of a church that won’t
balk at the idea you can even go through them. The point is to
have that support group that you can go to that will understand where
you’re coming from and what your concerns are. You know these
folks will know how to support you and pray for you.
- Take time to figure out YOU. What
I mean by this is don’t make assumptions. God has made you
unique. Take some time and with the help of your support group
figure out what your needs and interests are. Don’t just wait for
Mr. Right to come along to help you figure these things out.
That’s a bad ending waiting to happen. If you know what your
needs and wants are before Mr. Right comes along then you will be much
better equipped to make that experience a good one. You’ll be
going in with your eyes wide open and therefore won’t have so many
nasty surprises coming. That being said…
- Don’t let anyone pressure you into a
relationship. Even if it is your own biological clock. Use
this time as a single woman to advance YOU. Take a class, learn a
new hobby, and get more involved with church. Whatever it is….do
it. Now is the time. Focus on becoming the woman God
created you to be. Focus on Him. After all, He is the
ultimate Master. We can always trust him to truly do what’s best
for us. The master that HE has in mind for you will treasure you
as you’re meant to be treasured. How is Mr. Right supposed to
take notice of you when you’re on the arm of Mr. Right Now? Get
so caught up in your relationship with your heavenly Master that he has
to hit you on the head with a two by four to make you realize that the
right one has been put into your path. The less desperate you
look the more attractive to that person you’ll be. It’s a proven
fact that guys want to work for something worth having. That’s
why Mr. Right Now never works out.
I guess what I’m really and truly getting at is this: Love where you’re
at. Find someone to confide in. Never forget whose collar
you took when you opened your life and heart to His love. Spend
time with Him, talk to Him, and worship Him. At times you may be
lonely, but don’t let it get to you. Make sure you’re happy
BEFORE that perfect man comes along. You are complete in
Christ. Remember that and don’t wait for someone else to do the
job.
I pray that God sends his blessing to any sister of mine reading
this. I would love to hear from you if this helped or if you
would simply like to dig a bit deeper into things. It does get
better. We have that promise.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to
help you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
© 2004 by teddybelle-All Rights
Reserved except BDSM symbol ©1995 by Quagmyr@aol.com
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